As I sifted through the bounty of elegant dresses in the bridal shop, it became apparent that not a single one was meant for me. Me and my mum, Alison, 52, had been giddy with excitement about choosing my perfect wedding dress since my partner, Alastair, 26, got down one knee in September 2018. But as Mum and the sales assistant took it in turns to dazzle me by flaunting an assortment of frocks in my direction, I just wasn’t getting that buzz of choosing a dress that I’d heard about. And what should have been one of the most memorable days of my life quickly turned into a harrowing experience.
Making my way into the fitting room, I began to change into one of dresses I’d reluctantly agreed to try on. And as I stood there, surrounded by three unforgiving mirrors examining my body from all possible angles, my heart dropped. My curves were bursting at the seams, causing stretch lines in the elegant material, and my arms were bigger than I even knew. At 5ft 6in, I weighed 18st 4lb and wore a size 20, but in my head I was a size 14. How had I got this big without even knowing it?
Sad and depressed
Feeling unattractive and embarrassed, I began to weep behind the curtains, careful not to let Mum catch on. ‘How is it?’ she excitedly asked from outside the cubicle. ‘Not the one,’ I replied, wiping a tear from my cheek. I pictured the day I chose the dress for my wedding to be one filled with happiness and excitement, instead I was left sad and depressed. And as I stood staring and resenting my reflection, I vowed I wouldn’t walk down the aisle looking like this.
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