Yo-yo dieter Sarah Edwards has a wardrobe full of size 10 clothes, despite being a size 18. Can she go back to the woman she once was?
Just like certain perfumes, clothes can take you back in time, to a party, event or moment you felt incredible. And now, holding up my pink body-con dress, I can remember the day I wore it like it was yesterday, and can still feel the excitement and satisfaction I felt back then when I put it on.
It was November 2012 and my best friend’s 27th birthday party. I’d not long qualified as a personal trainer – and after slipping on that figure-hugging size 10 dress, I’d never felt so confident, smiling for photos and dancing. I was working out regularly, eating healthily and I looked and felt great as a result of that effort. But I appreciated my figure all the more because, just a few years earlier, I’d been morbidly obese.
I’d always been curvier than other girls at school; my thighs were double the size of some of their skinny legs and I had big boobs, too. Although I wasn’t huge, I still got teased for my shape. I remember, aged 14, a group of boys cruelly chanting ‘fat ginger’ behind me as I walked to school. The humiliation and shame I felt stayed with me and it started a life-long obsession with my body that has seen me lose weight but then pile it back on again and again.
When I left school and went to college, I was a size 12/14 and struggled to make friends. Lonely, I’d sneak off to the shop near campus and binge on ready-made sandwiches, crisps and chocolate.
By the time I was 18 and went to uni to study Interior Design, I was 17st 7lb and asize 22. Desperate to hide how I looked, I dressed in leggings and baggy, long-sleeved tops. After graduating, I started an admin job, but binge eating had become my way of life, and I kept a permanent stash of snacks in my desk drawers at work.
Low point
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