Mum left a legacy OF LOVE

Jo Riley lost the person closest to her. She explains how she coped with insurmountable grief – and helped others along the way

- FRANCES LEATE

One of my greatest fears when I had children was that I’d never be as good a mum as my own mother was. I can remember when I had my first child – a son, Eddie – in July 2009, I cradled him in my arms and promised him I’d try to be every bit as kind and selfless as she was.

Then aged 62, my mum Lynne had been my best friend growing up. I was an only child and Mum was devoted to me. While my dad Leighton was working overseas as an engineer, Mum and I would bake cupcakes together, and when I became an adult, we would go on holidays and lunch dates. Even when I married Dale, then 31, in January 2006, not a day went by that I didn’t see or speak to Mum.

When Eddie was born, and later Rosa, in January 2013, Mum babysat while I worked at my corporate sales job.

But when Mum popped round one day in October 2015, her face etched with worry, I immediately panicked. Mum revealed she’d just been diagnosed with secondary breast cancer. She told me not to cry, she wanted me to be strong, but it took all my resolve not to break down.

Suddenly I felt like I was 13 years old again, when I’d found out for the first time that Mum had a lump in her breast.

I can remember being terrified that she would die, and so relieved when an operation to remove the lump had worked. Only now, here we were 28 years later, going through it all again – the cancer was back. I hadn’t even known she was going in for tests, so it was a huge shock.