Sitting in front of a mirror at New Zealand Fashion Week eight years ago, former model Courtenay Louise looked the picture of beauty, but inside, the Shortland Street actress felt worthless.
"I'd left the house feeling really excited, but when I got to the venue and saw all the others girls, I suddenly felt huge," recalls Courtenay, 28, who plays model Monique Strutter on the TVNZ 2 drama. "I remember just hating myself. I felt I didn't deserve to be there. It was the beginning of a long eating-disorder journey."
Today, Auckland-based Courtenay has overcome the devastating illness, which saw her spiral through starvation and over-exercise, to binge eating and purging.
"I want to share my story because there are so many other people going through this, especially in a time when social media is shoving edited bikini photos down people's throats," she tells Woman's Day.
"I've seen how truly consuming and isolating eating disorders can be. I hope people who are struggling with body image can read this, know they're not alone and hopefully muster up the courage to ask for help."
Growing up, Courtenay was a confident kid who was often complimented on her petite frame. "I could hear the envy in their voices, which gave me the mentality I needed to be skinny," she recalls, adding that she could eat whatever she liked without putting on weight, which adults warned would catch up on her one day.
This story is from the {{IssueName}} edition of {{MagazineName}}.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber ? Sign In
This story is from the {{IssueName}} edition of {{MagazineName}}.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Sign In
TREASURE & TRAUMA
The launch of the new season of Celebrity Treasure Island doubled as an eighth wedding anniversary celebration for contestant Millen Baird and his wife Siobhan Marshall, who came fourth on the show back in 2022.
JUDGE JAY-JAY
Radio diva Jay-Jay Feeney delivers her verdict on your biggest dilemmas
CASEY'S BABY JOY 'OUR GIRL IS ALREADY SO LOVED'
The Te Puke gym owner refused to let a devastating accident stop her from becoming a mother
DEAD FUNNY! SHOSHANA'S GOING SOLO
The Emmy Award-winning writer is starring in a macabre new comedy
TWO RAW SISTERS BABY MAKES THREE!
Rosa and Margo have a new cookbook and bundle of joy on the way
HOME AND AWAY'S NEW MÃORI STAR
The son of a Kiwi sporting Legend, Cantona Stewart is making waves in Summer Bay
TV STAR AIDEE 'THE NIGHT I ALMOST DIED'
The actress and director opens up about her terrifying ordeal
CARMEL SEPULONI I'VE ALWAYS BEEN A FIGHTER!
Our former deputy PM the lessons she's learnt in politics on CTI
KENNEDY & SOLLY'S ROMANTIC RACE TO THE ALTAR
The Black Ferns co-captain and her rugby star husband organised the ir nuptials in just five days!
THE BRAD & GEORGE SHOW is back!
Their lovable bromance is stealing the spotlight in Venice!