Ever heard 'The Monkey's Paws story? If not, Google it right away. But coming to the point: Be careful what you wish for! 2023 was the kind of year that I once wished for flashing lights, people talking about me, everyone recognising me. As everyone knows by now... I am a professional attention seeker. Little did I know everything comes with a cost. I didn't really know how to handle things like rape threats, death threats, multiple FIRs. All this made me extremely anxious and, at the same time, depressed. Even after enduring all this, I am not where I want to be not accepted by the fashion world or the industry, still struggling to make a name on my own, still struggling to survive. I came to Mumbai with no money so the thought of going broke again constantly haunts me. Well you guessed it right-I don't really have a lot of work. I keep saying I don't care (and I really don't care) but when you're alone at night scrolling through your phone, it hits you...it hits you bad. I have constants thoughts: What if people forget me?' 'What if I don't get work after this?" "How will I manage my life?' I wouldn't say I love a luxurious life but, yes, it is a comfortable life right now. I don't really want to go back to my cramped up one-room-kitchen apartment I used to live even the idea scares me.
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