The dos and don'ts of doing your friends
Cosmopolitan India|November - December 2023
Eyeing up your mate? Best friends to lovers sounds pretty great, but proceed with caution...
Lois Shearing
The dos and don'ts of doing your friends

You know everything about your friend, have top-notch banter, and the secret weapon-have coached them through all their previous relationship issues. Surely, adding sex and/or romance into the mix would just be the cherry on top, right? If you're thinking about ditching the dating apps for good and finding love (2am booty calls are a type of love, no?) closer to home, you are definitely not the only one with this idea. Research suggests that Gen Z women are the most likely to start dating someone they considered a friend first.

But the course of friends-to-lovers doesn't always run smoothly, and a Monica and Chandler ending isn't guaranteed. Before you make a move, consider this...

FEEL OUT THE VIBE

Unlike the apps, approaching someone in-person also means having to deal with the possibility of being rejected face to face. Plus, the possibility of being pied by a friend ups the stakes even more. So take some time to feel out the vibes and see if they reciprocate your interest, before you proposition them at games night.

"Ask yourself why it hasn't already happened," says Simone Bose, a relationship therapist. "Is there chemistry or just a bit of flirting going on?" If there isn't electricity that could light up a small village, ask yourself if your feelings are strong enough that they're worth risking the friendship.

BE PREPARED FOR A DIFFERENT DYNAMIC

Just because you have loads of fun together, stay up all night sending memes and always go to each other first with life updates, it doesn't necessarily mean you'll work out romantically although, it is a really solid foundation.

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