TikTok knows why your last relationship didn't work out

Ever wondered why you do what you do when it comes to crushes? Attachment theory might just explain it.

- LENA GENOVESE AND KATHERINE HAMMER

“If I am being completely honest, the thought of going 24 hours without texting my crush fills me with something resembling nausea," shares Meena G., 16. "Meanwhile, my BFF can go nearly a week without FaceTiming her bae. How is that even possible?"

Ah yes, the sweet mystery (or stomach-turning terror) of what's the right way to act around someone you really, really like. Turns out the answer to the eternal "how do I communicate with my crush?" conundrum may lie in attachment theory, TikTok's latest relationship conversation.

It boils down to one idea. "Attachment styles are patterns of behavior developed in childhood [through interactions with your family, genetics and temperament] that show up later in relationships," says social worker Ann Robinson.

But knowing your attachment style isn't the same as discovering you're a Capricorn or a Ravenclaw: Attachment falls on a spectrum. And unlike your star sign, you can work with your style to tweak it so you can have happier and healthier bonds (and who doesn't want that?).

YOUR (ATTACHMENT) STYLE GUIDE

First, let's break down the lingo. Attachment styles fall into two main categories: secure and insecure.

"Secure attachment styles are characterized by a sense of trust and comfort in relationships, while insecure attachment styles experience more anxiety and fear of rejection," Robinson explains.

Can you picture a connection that makes you feel completely comfortable? Maybe it's with your BFF or your big sister. You can text nonstop...or take a few days apart without stressing. You can be honest about how you feel...and know they're going to do the same in return. And when it comes to tough topics? You see eye-to-eye...or can agree to disagree.