Learning the ropes

A course for would-be game shots proves useful to Jim Old, but he can't help but wonder what more experienced hands would make of it

Let me conjure a little scenario for you. You’re on the peg on the maiden drive of your first shoot of the season. You’ve paid good money to be there. As you wait to start, you feel calm and quietly focused. You’ve done this 100 times before, after all. You acknowledge the Gun to your left with a nod. You don’t know him well but your paths have crossed on shoots before. Then you glance to your right, and you see me.

To you, I’m an unknown quantity. As we boarded the Gun bus, you heard me telling someone that this was my first shoot. Looking at me now, it’s obvious. It’s in my recently purchased wardrobe and my demeanour. I’m excited and nervous, and working hard to appear relaxed.

You start to worry about me. Do I have a clue what I’m doing? Can I be trusted with a shotgun? Will I be a danger to the beaters, the dogs, you? Will I be blasting low birds? Trying my luck with high ones? Or stealing yours? How will I behave on the peg? Will I whoop with delight every time a shot connects? Or stop mid-drive to answer my mobile? Will I post something unwise on social media when I get home?

The gamekeeper walks briskly behind the line, whistle in mouth, ready to go. He sees you watching me anxiously and grins around his Acme Thunderer. “Don’t worry about him,” he says. “He’s been on the BASC game shooter certificate course.”

Lottery win