IT'S ALARMING to realize just how much of our lives we spend not doing things we want to or should be doing. We talk about "not getting around to things" as if it were merely a failure of organization or of will. But often the truth is that we invest plenty of energy in making sure we never get around to them. It's an old story: Some task—or some entire domain of life—makes you anxious whenever you think about it, so you just don't go there. You're scared that a pain in your abdomen might be a sign of something serious, so you avoid seeing a doctor. Or you're worried that raising a sensitive subject with your partner could lead to a blazing argument—so you never do. Several times, I've avoided checking my email for fear of discovering a message from someone impatient I haven't replied to yet.
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