AT FIRST I felt a twinge of pain, but that's tricky thing because generally if you press on your nuts, they hurt. So I though, Yeah, it's probably nothing. But I still wanted to get a physical and an STD check go to the doctor, and he says, "This is probably nothing, but go pee in a cup and get an ultrasound and we'll know for sure." It's the Thursday before Labor Day weekend in August of 2017. I was traveling for work, and I came back and I was like, "Oh, fuck, I should probably get that ultrasound done." I go and get an STD panel and the ultrasound and all the tests. The doctor called me immediately and said, "You got to come back." I come back at 6:30 PM. after work, and the only person left was some schmuck doctor, because it was the Thursday of a holiday weekend. He was like, "Hey, so listen, you have cancer. We don't know for sure if you have cancer, but you're going to have to get your testicle removed and then we'll know for sure."
Naturally, I went to Dewey Beach with my friends that weekend because I was like, "I'm not going to sit and be sad in my apartment over Labor Day weekend." Then I came back, went to Memorial Sloan Kettering, and got a bunch more tests done. They said, "Yeah, you got to get this out. We ve got to schedule this quickly." So my family flew into New York from Chicago, and we got it done right away. It was a super-painful surgery, kinda like somehady cuts a hole in your stomach and rips one of your nuts out, because that's what happened. Then they tested it, and they're like, "Yeah, we got it done quick enough. You don't need chemo right now, but we're just going to keep an eye on it."
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