A CIVILIAN army should be trained up in case we go to war with Russia as our "military is too small", an Army chief has warned.
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LITTLER BRITAIN
UK willies among smallest in world!
ERIK'S LEAKY BOAT STAYS AFLOAT
But America's Cup can't distract Old Trafford chiefs from sinking feeling
Blues still punching above their weight
Enzo slows hype as side fail to cut down Forest
WALT-ZER
Big Sam leaves 'em in spin but ride looks over
STOCKING THRILLER
Rossa stars on his Arc angel
That's tea potty!
BRITS BREWING UP WITH FIZZY WATER
SLEEPING DIVORCES
Couples extend homes to kip alone
Invasion of the Chinese killer bugs..
TREE ATTACKERS JOIN ASIAN STINK PESTS
FRANKENSTEIN BEAVER BOFFS
Plan to resurrect extinct giant rodent
Bank Holloween
BRITS DEMAND DAY OFF FOR SPOOKFEST
