(Not) On The Ball
My Weekly|May 09, 2023
Ah, football fans. A mine of dubious information and sly tactics...
(Not) On The Ball

I read some alarming facts the other day-99.99% recurring of all creatures that ever lived, are dead. Also, 95% of all humans ever born are dead, and 99.9% of every species that ever existed are extinct. And yet... Arsenal Football Club are still with us.

That doesn't seem fair at all.

That last line gives me away - I obtain my facts, not from academic sources, but from online football forums, this one being, as you might guess, used by Tottenham Hotspur fans.

However, I checked all that information, and it does seem fairly accurate - even down to Arsenal FC struggling on admirably in the face of it all.

So, while realising how statistically lucky I am to be alive on Earth right now, against overwhelming odds, and how lucky you are too (though not quite so lucky at this very moment because you appear to be reading my column), the whole thing led me to think about various football rivalries.

This story is from the {{IssueName}} edition of {{MagazineName}}.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.

This story is from the {{IssueName}} edition of {{MagazineName}}.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.