The temperature was below freezing as I dropped my 14-year-old son off at Scout camp, just as he realised he’d left his sleeping bag at home. Did I jump in the car and do the hour-long round trip to fetch it for him? No, I did not. I simply blew him a kiss and drove away. Michael was old enough to take full responsibility for packing his own camping gear. When I arrived home, I even texted him a picture of it, with the message, ‘Your sleeping bag looks nice and cosy in the hallway.’
Climbing into bed and switching my heated blanket on that night, I thought, ‘Gosh, it’s cold, Michael’s going to suffer’, but I didn’t lose any sleep. I knew he’d survive – and, most importantly, I was convinced he would ultimately benefit from the experience. While it may go against namby-pamby modern parenting, I’m a firm believer in tough love when it comes to raising my three children – Michael, now 15, Christian, 13, and Heather, 12. I’ve never mollycoddled them, because I believe passionately in letting them learn life lessons the hard way.
Pulling together The rewards are clear in the smooth running of our family home. Far from going through a ‘difficult phase’, my teenagers and I share mutual respect and great communication as well as a lot of fun.
Without having to be asked, Christian makes a packed lunch for us all every morning. I often come home from work to find that Heather has taken it upon herself to make dinner and lay the table. A generation or two ago, my approach would not have seemed so unusual, but nowadays parents are far too soft on their kids. They underestimate, and undermine, their children’s ability to handle adversity with their overindulgence.
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