A happy evening with friends and family at a party, eating mince pies, wearing our Christmas jumpers, as my husband Stu entertained the children in his Santa suit. Smiles on children's faces, including my son Fraser, seven, and daughter Elizabeth, three. Setting off on a happy walk home, through the cold night air, singing songs together, Stu leading the crowd. Then, a scream, plunging everything into a state of numbness, and the realisation that nothing would ever be the same again.
For years, this is how I remembered that night in December. And whenever Christmas rolled around, I refused to allow myself any excitement, instead replaying that awful night over and over again in my mind and remembering everything that I'd lost.
Christmas used to be such a happy time for me and my family - the best time of the year in fact. Stuart and I had married in December 2006 and festivities had crept into our big day. This included my gown, which I'd designed myself, made with Swarovski crystals glistening like snowdrops, and having our photographs taken at Winter Wonderland as we walked to our wedding reception, which was held at Cardiff Castle.
After we had our son Fraser in 2008 and daughter Elizabeth in 2012, Christmas became even more special. There were yearly anniversary trips to Winter Wonderland and Cardiff Castle, and cosy nights watching festive movies. Only, as time went by, Stu found it increasingly hard to keep his big secret from the kids. For years, he'd volunteered as Santa at local fairs and parties, but Fraser and Elizabeth had never guessed. I loved Stu's dedication to his role, and I even nicknamed him Mr Wonderful, because he really was.
Santa's little helper
This story is from the {{IssueName}} edition of {{MagazineName}}.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber ? Sign In
This story is from the {{IssueName}} edition of {{MagazineName}}.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Sign In
From wife TO CARER
After Mel Elliott's husband suffered a brain injury, their relationship changed drastically and irreparably
Love thy NEIGHBOUR
The woman next door had her life sorted – or so Joan thought
'I'm embracing THE FACT I'M SINGLE'
Ruth Langsford on 'difficult divorce', weight loss and leaning on her female friends
LINDA Pauline's DEMENTIA BATTLE
Linda Robson talks to Woman about her friend's health, dating and her new TV gig
Pearls before SWINE
Lady Graystone was simply following a family tradition – one that meant they would never forget her
Inspiring CELEBS
From overcoming obstacles and raising awareness to fighting for change, as International Women's Day arrives we take a look at the stars doing their bit
Time for a DIGITAL DETOX?
Determined to switch off, writer Ella Dove tried going tech-free on a weekend break
Why I confronted MY BULLY ASAN ADULT
Teased and tormented as a schoolgirl, Shona Sibary decided to stand up to her bully decades on
Is your diet MAKING YOU SICK?
If you don't lose weight sensibly, you could end up feeling unwell
Don't put up with hair loss
Sadly, it’s all too easy to dismiss thinning hair as a sign of ageing, but getting help could be easier than you think...
