My baby was treated like - SHE NEVER EXISTED
WOMAN - UK|July 01, 2024
After losing her newborn daughter, Hilary Freeman was determined to make a positive difference
HILARY FREEMAN
My baby was treated like - SHE NEVER EXISTED

Almost 12 years ago, I gave birth to my first baby, a daughter named Elodie. Although my partner Mickael and I held her in our arms and had photos taken with her, there is no official record of her birth.

The only document I have is the receipt for her ashes from the crematorium where we held her funeral. As far as the world is concerned, Elodie never existed; she was not a person. That's because she was stillborn at 23 weeks and six days gestation, just shy of the UK's legal age of viability.

For thousands of women who, like me, have suffered a stillbirth or late miscarriage before 24 weeks, the realisation that there will never be an official record of our baby's existence makes an already traumatic experience even more painful.

But earlier this year, after years of campaigning by charities, the government finally took note. Bereaved parents in England will now be able to apply for a baby loss certificate - an official, although not legal, document - which recognises our loss and acknowledges that our babies did exist, rather than classifying them as mere unfortunate clinical events in our NHS records.

Empty arms

Being able to apply for this certificate would have made all the difference in the world to me on 27 September 2012, when I walked out of the maternity unit of University College Hospital, London, with empty arms.

I was still sore and weak from blood loss, after giving birth late the night before, and my bump remained swollen. Had I not taken a tablet to dry up my milk supply, my breasts would have been engorged too, growing ready to feed her.

My body ached for my missing baby. But Elodie now lay in the hospital mortuary.

Mickael and I returned home to my silent flat to begin preparing for Elodie's funeral, which took place the following week at Golders Green Crematorium.

This story is from the {{IssueName}} edition of {{MagazineName}}.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.

This story is from the {{IssueName}} edition of {{MagazineName}}.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.

MORE STORIES FROM WOMAN - UKView all
TV & REVIEWS
WOMAN - UK

TV & REVIEWS

Our pick of what to watch this week, plus the best podcasts and new books...

time-read
1 min  |
November 25, 2024
Beryl's BOUTIQUE
WOMAN - UK

Beryl's BOUTIQUE

Her heart had been closed for business, but was it time to open up?

time-read
7 mins  |
November 25, 2024
Finally I'm a size 10 JUST LIKE MY TWIN!
WOMAN - UK

Finally I'm a size 10 JUST LIKE MY TWIN!

Eve Little and her twin sister Hayley supported each other through a life-changing journey

time-read
5 mins  |
November 25, 2024
Stop bad breath embarrassing you
WOMAN - UK

Stop bad breath embarrassing you

Party season means you could be getting 'up close and personal' with your nearest and dearest, so don't let poor oral health hold back your fun...

time-read
2 mins  |
November 25, 2024
Get moving to beat that low mood
WOMAN - UK

Get moving to beat that low mood

Look, I know it's November. The days are shorter (like our patience) and darker (like, sometimes, our mood) and moving our body gets pushed further down the must-do list. We hunker down and become insular.

time-read
1 min  |
November 25, 2024
Married to a MONSTER
WOMAN - UK

Married to a MONSTER

Samantha Treanor, 33, thought she'd never escape her violent partner

time-read
5 mins  |
November 25, 2024
MORE BAD NEWS FOR MEGHAN...
WOMAN - UK

MORE BAD NEWS FOR MEGHAN...

Hot on the heels of stories in the US press about the Sussexes being extremely difficult to work for, comes another body blow.

time-read
2 mins  |
November 25, 2024
ANXIETY is part of who I am'
WOMAN - UK

ANXIETY is part of who I am'

TV cook Nadiya Hussain on ageing, her career goals and pushing boundaries

time-read
3 mins  |
November 25, 2024
SEPARATE LIVES
WOMAN - UK

SEPARATE LIVES

Has the shine come off their fairy tale, questions royal biographer Duncan Larcombe

time-read
3 mins  |
November 25, 2024
NEVER too late
WOMAN - UK

NEVER too late

Catriona had regrets about the past - but perhaps it was time to embrace her future

time-read
7 mins  |
November 18, 2024