Standing in the sunshine, surrounded by palm trees, I picked up my little girl and moved closer to my husband, Eddie. ‘Say cheese!’ the photographer said, as we beamed for a family photo with our then 19-month-old daughter, Leah.
We were at a friend’s wedding in Mauritius, dressed in matching outfits… and, for me, the most amazing thing was that, now a size 10, I felt so confident in front of the camera in my traditional Indian sari.
For years I’d avoided having photos taken. For a girls’ trip in the same country just five years earlier, I’d covered up in a size-16 black dress that was too tight, and prayed the resort photographer would pass by our table. I’d been longing for a baby then, too, and had worried that my weight might get in the way of falling pregnant. Now, those worries felt a world away. We were there as a happy and healthy family of three.
I wish I’d known back in 2017 that I had such a bright future ahead of me. At the time, I was at my lowest point. In my 20s, I’d experienced periods of depression, as well as anxiety around my weight and my relationship with food. My parents had always taken a stoic approach to life, so I’d grown up keeping my emotions to myself, too.
Instead of dealing with my feelings, I’d sought comfort in food, and by the time I began working as a business development manager it had become my crutch. My role involved wining and dining clients, so almost all my meals included several courses. Later, in my bedroom, I’d take out family-size bars of chocolate. Sometimes I’d eat two or even three, only stopping because I thought I’d be sick. That year, aged 26, I gained 4st.
YO-YO DIETING
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