I'VE SLEPT WITH MORE THAN 100 PEOPLE

Nikola Howard, 53, isn’t ashamed of her sexual past

When you look at me, what do you see? Probably an average, respectable middle-aged woman who dresses quite conservatively. I doubt you’d believe me if I said I had a wild side, but the truth is, I do, and my past is possibly wilder than yours. I’ve slept with over 100 people – men and women – during my lifetime and I’m not in the least bit ashamed. Why should I be? Nobody was harmed and everything was consensual. If a man claimed to have slept with the same number of women, it would just be accepted, yet this is still the double standard that we as women face. But sex is for both men and women to enjoy and my sexual past has made me who I am today. 

My attitude towards sex started to form when I slept with my first serious boyfriend just after I turned 17. We’d met through mutual friends and while he never put pressure on me, I hoped sex would cement our relationship. It was an enjoyable experience but a week later, he broke up with me. I was so upset and figured that perhaps sex isn’t so important after all.

My first serious relationship came a year later, in August 1988, shortly before I went to Staffordshire Polytechnic to study physics and chemistry. I was with him for four years, during which time we got engaged. But despite having a good sex life with him, I found myself being presented with opportunities for sex with other people and I ended up cheating on him a lot. I was by no means bored of my partner, but I just couldn’t seem to resist the temptation of more sex. I felt bad and knew deep down I wasn’t supposed to, but it was flattering too!