I punished myself with over-exercising'
Pav Johal, 40, lives in Maidenhead with her two children, eight and six.
When I’m in the gym lifting weights, I feel incredible. Exercise hasn’t always brought me joy though – as a teen I used it to punish myself.
At uni, like a lot of students living off a bad diet, I gained weight. ‘No one will marry you looking like that,’ a family member warned. They thought they were looking out for me. But I started weighing myself twice a day, waking up early for a long walk and exercising three times a day. My weight plummeted and I was miserable. I felt anxious if I hadn’t done ‘enough’ exercise.
Years passed and soon I was married with children. One day, I a man talk on the radio about eating disorders and, in that moment, I realised I too was in the grips of one. I looked at my son and swore I would change.
Only, when COVID hit I was furloughed from my accountant job. I began to feel that same anxiety if I hadn’t walked enough. I was even doing sit-ups and burpees before bed.
Discovering powerlifting at my local Base Gym, which focuses on strength and conditioning, I realised how good I felt after each session, not achy and fatigued like I felt after cardio.
I had a strict training schedule and I knew if I tried to overdo it, I could injure myself. Finally, I could see how my midnight burpees could damage me. Although I’d never sought professional help for my eating disorder, developing a good training schedule helped me to recover by changing my mindset to use exercise in a healthy way.
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