"Help! How do I heal a family rift?"

With one in three people experiencing family estrangement, we asked experts how to address this sense of loss and consider reconciliation

- KRISTINA MASTROCOLA

Reflect on your needs

Know you are not alone

One of the most common emotions tied to estrangement is shame, says life coach Sheri McGregor, adding that parents frequently try to keep the peace as their adult children begin distancing themselves from them. “Society says parents are responsible for their kids, compounding parents’ sense of shame and causing them to hide it and not talk to anyone. I get thousands of emails each week from people around the globe saying, ‘I thought I was alone.’” Just knowing this situation is far more common than you may have realized will help you address your complex emotions with compassion rather than self-recrimination.

Ask yourself questions

It helps to clarify your goals, says expert Fern Schumer Chapman. “Ask yourself a few questions like, ‘Can I set aside the pain and resentment and change our pattern of relating to each other? Do I want to rebuild even if they haven’t changed?’” Simply reflecting on your goals for the relationship will help you determine what’s best for your well-being.

Let yourself grieve