Why Do We Lie?

Amber Dias unravels why people weave a tangled web of lies.

- Amber Dias

It’s the oldest story in the book, you get caught with your hand in the cookie jar and your first instinct is to deny it all, despite the evidence. Fact is, as human beings we lie all the time. But why is that? Wouldn’t life be a lot simpler if we all just told the truth?

According to USA-based psychologist Robert Feldman, people lie reflexively. They do not think about it as a part of their normal social discourse, but it is. In a study published in the ‘Journal of Basic and Applied Psychology’, he revealed that 60% of people lie at least once in a 10-minute conversation.

WHY DO WE LIE?

“The human mind strives for self-preservation. The primary reason we lie is that we are afraid of the consequences of the truth. If someone asks, ‘Why were you late?’ people lie because they are too embarrassed to admit that they woke up late. Lying happens because people are not bold enough to tell the truth. And in many cases, the people on the other side may not always be ready to accept the truth,” reveals Dr Shefali Batra, Psychiatrist and Cognitive Therapist, Co-Founder, Inner House and Founder, Mind frames, Mumbai. Robert adds, “We find that as soon as people feel their self-esteem is threatened, they immediately begin to lie at higher levels.”

Most psychologists agree that there are two key motivators for lying: Protection and personal gain.

Protection: We lie to protect ourselves and others. Lying to protect oneself is driven by fear. Studies show that three out of 10 people are afraid of exposing their vulnerabilities, their religious beliefs etc; lest this information be used against them or interfere with their social interactions.