A Letter To Straight People From The ‘Gay Best Friend'

The concept implies and constantly reminds you that while your straight friends are normal, you are not.

- Daniel Harding

Since before I can remember, I have hated hearing someone say the word, ‘gay.’ I came out when I was 18 years old. And to this day, it is the hardest thing I have ever done. After I came out, I faced bullying, rejection, and depression. But, with the lows came the highs—one of which was when I finally became, the holy grail, ‘gay best friend’.

Despite the gay best friend (GBF) often being thought of as ‘the hottest accessory’, it was, and still is, a label that weighs heavily on my mind. According to the movies, I should have loved my unpaid position as the straight girl’s best friend/agony aunt. Always listening to her boy problems and being her comedy side queen should have been an honour. But in reality, I realised it was not a fun title at all.

COMING OUT

Having dabbled with the thought of being straight and denying who I was for far too long, I stopped pretending that my best friend was a potential love interest (thank you Alex), and told my family just before I left school.

Although it felt like I had just climbed a mountain, that was only the beginning. My straight girlfriends were supportive, and excited to suddenly have a GBF. To them, I could be that trusty friend to go bra shopping with, who would talk about men with them into the early hours, all while braiding their hair. I would be the one guy who would not get an erection in their presence, knew which top they should wear with ‘that’ skirt, and have the right words to comfort them.