'I Went To Marriage School...'

Yes, that’s really a thing in 2018. Writer and author Daisy Buchanan enrolled – and here’s what she learnt.

- Daisy Buchanan

Last year, on a night out at our local bar, one of my friends asked my husband if being married was difficult. “I love it,” he beamed. “Marriage is a piece of cake!” Hours later, after too much rosé and some dropped chips, he fell off an escalator – and I fell onto him. I burst out laughing. He thought I was laughing at him when he was in pain and, when a stranger asked if we were OK, he said, “Fine – but probably getting a divorce.” I was furious at his tasteless joke, and we ended up having the biggest fight of our relationship. We’d made up by morning, but it was as if the universe was telling us that marriage isn’t easy: if we ever took it for granted, of course we’d trip up.

The thing is, we’re still new to marriage. Our wedding was in October 2015, with 120 guests and a Luther Vandross karaoke. It’s hard to explain how it’s affected our relationship, but it does feel different. Our intentions haven’t changed; they’ve become deeper. Marrying my husband is the best thing I’ve done; but it’s also the most optimistic. A study shows that 42% of marriages end in divorce and, statistically, we’re unlikely to stay with the same partner for a lifetime. Most relationships I’ve been in before have ended badly, so why do I think this could be different? Surely it’s naïve to think there never has, or will be, a love like this? Yet I do – because, together, the two of us are more than the sum of our parts.