Navigating Tough Times: How To Talk To Children About Tragedy

The recent spate of tragedies around the world raises many questions for parents. How much do we share with our children? What is the media exposing them to? Should we answer their queries? Do they really need to know what happened? We asked MARK PETTERSON, Senior Years Counsellor and Experiential Learning Coordinator at GEMS World Academy (Singapore), for some commonsense advice.

- Mark Petterson

How can we explain the concepts behind tragic events simply and without predjudice?

For many, this is a judgement call, and it will usually depend upon the child’s age, emotional stability, resilience, and also the comfort level of the parent involved. Recent events such as the Manchester bombing are highly distressing, but they also provide us all with a timely reminder that tragedy can occur anywhere and at any time.

Many parents generally prefer to avoid the subject completely in the hope that their children may not pick up on these tragedies at all. However, with the significant media coverage that these events receive, it’s highly likely that your children will hear about them from other sources – the internet, social media or friends, for example. You then run the risk of having your child hear an even more sensationalised version of a tragedy.

Be prepared for your child to ask questions that may test your understanding of the events. It’s important that parents are informed so that they know how to best answer the question: “Why did it happen?” Again, you should prepare for your child to be exposed to various interpretations of the event, particularly if they attend an international school where there is a mixed population of nationalities and cultural groups. This is something that we have to both understand and accept.