Hegel Walks Into A Bar...

James V. Mead overhears Hegel mansplaining #MeToo.

- James V. Mead

Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel walks into a bar in Manhattan. Three women see him and come over to sit around him. Each one introduces herself.

“I’m a woman from the past,” says the first.

“I’m a woman from the present,” says the second.

The third says, “I’m from the future.”

Hegel cannot believe his good fortune. Who would expect a living thought experiment would show up at his local watering hole? “Ladies,” he says, “I suggest we have some philosophical fun in this happy situation.” He pauses to sip his Napoleon brandy. “Can we work through a problem I’ve wondered about all day? I promise you free drinks – all the spirits you want!”

“Phenomenal!” chorus the women.

Hegel continues, “I’ve been thinking about the concept of sexual harassment. Will you help me work through this problem?” They look at each other askance, then nod. Hegel smiles and says, “I’ll set the scene. Say you walk into your CEO’s office, and he makes a proposition to you, to gratify his animal urges. A typical modern tawdry scene, if we are to believe what we read in newspapers. What does a woman do in this situation?”