What Sex Therapists Wish You Knew

You can give your sex life and bedroom confidence a lift no matter how long you’ve been married, as the experts reveal.

- Jocelyn Klug

From staying in the moment to clearing the air, there are many things you can do to maintain a satisfying sex life, or to help you rekindle a lacklustre love life, after marriage. Clinical sexologist at Eros Coaching,

Dr Martha Tara Lee, says, “Some couples may go through a season of low sex drive, because they are going through life changes like a new baby, moving house, or changing jobs. This is normal, but do seek professional help if this goes on for six months or longer.”

There’s no need to be embarrassed if your sex life needs a boost: Plenty of married couples go through temporary dry spells. Here, leading sex therapists share their ideas on how to give your sexual relationship a helping hand.

1 Give your body enough rest

“In Singapore, where I am based, the biggest cause of low sex drives is exhaustion. Clients say they are tired, not getting enough sleep, and that they are not in the mood for sex.

“When I ask them what they think they should do, they invariably feel that they need to push themselves harder, be more determined, and fight for their relationship. Some of them even feel like they need to buy things like sex toys to help speed things up.

“But what they actually need is more rest. We need be more gentle to ourselves, and take care of our bodies. It is so important to guard our time and say no to some things, so we can have time to ourselves.” – Dr Martha Tara Lee

2 Don’t worry about what you think your body looks like