Malaria And The Mosquito

Why can't we discuss our marital problems with our spouses? Do we need outsiders?

- Padma V

A question was asked, "Why don't women confide in their husbands about their problems and frustrations?" Pat came the reply, "You cannot discuss your malaria with the mosquito." As soon as this message was posted in my school's all girls' group on WhatsApp, there were a volley of laughing and smiling emoticons. I too joined in, but later this set me thinking.

Our Indian culture considers marriage a venerable institution. Immense planning, preparation, and implementation is done, and huge expenditure is incurred before two souls are bound in wedlock. We consider weddings to be a lifetime commitment and, maybe because of the purity and sanctity attached to them, our weddings are revered world over. Moreover, of all the relationships that we make, that of a husband and wife is the longest in our country. Together, they go through all the ups and downs of life, complementing each other and creating a harmonious atmosphere. Therefore, in such a relationship, why should there be an absence of transparency? What need is there for backbiting?

That apart, gossiping about one's own husband to a near relative or friend is a common phenomenon in our country. The reasons for this are varied:

* Talking about the past, male chauvinism was predominant. It took the better of a woman;she was subdued, unable to open up to him, and she often blurted her problems out to others.