Hello From The Other Side

Lucy Fry struggled with depression for years, opting to eschew medication for therapy. Here, she shares how a second breakdown changed her mind – and her life

When is it good to take anti-depressants? Until recently, I would have answered hardly ever, preferring to believe that medication, except in the case of severe depression, bipolar or schizophrenia, was merely a way of sidestepping legitimate sadnesses that were better faced and worked through via therapy.

I see now how puritanical – not to mention ill-informed – this sounds, but in my defence, I had my reasons. Ten years ago, at 26, I had a breakdown triggered by confusion over my sexuality and my decision to leave a steady job and go out into the wilderness as a freelance writer. Gradually, I realised I was in trouble: daily panic attacks, hopelessness and hours of tears meant earning a living became almost impossible.

I went to see a psychiatrist, who put me on antidepressant medication (Citalopram) and suggested I start therapy. The idea was that the medication would help to lift my head and heart to a place where I was better able to engage with the therapy and start to challenge my negative core beliefs.

My weekly sessions with a psychotherapist became part of a long and meaningful unfurling, an ongoing journey towards becoming more self-aware, fulfilled and open. I confided in friends and family that I was in a relationship with a woman, and started to carve out a career as a journalist. The therapy helped me to understand that the way I thought about myself wasn’t helpful or caring, and gave me space to explore my past – traumatic incidents during childhood that continued to cause me to doubt myself.

THE LIFESTYLE CURE