Happy Makoti Holidays

December can be filled with awkward moments for makotis who have to spend time with their in-laws. Here’s how to navigate this period...

- Zama Nkosi-Mabuye

This is a month associated with lovely weather, laughter, flowing drinks, braais, summer hits blaring out of almost every radio in the country, and big bonuses. For some women, however, the festive season means driving to their in-laws, having to drink in secret, and working all day to prove their makotiness and impress their in-laws. Not so fun, right? Here are tips to help you make your makoti vacation less miserable.

TIRED BRIDE

By the time December rolls around, most of us are tired but as a makoti, you may be expected to do a lot of the housework when visiting your in-laws. “Negotiate because if you don’t speak up, people will assume that you’re okay,” a Sowetobased counselor, Dorah Nzimande, says. “The younger generation has more of a say than we ever did as makotis and I believe they should use those voices. It’s important to make it clear that while you’re okay to help sometime, you’re also there on holiday and need to rest,” she says.

Managing those expectations with your in-laws may initially be awkward, but it will be for your benefit. “It’s only right that your in-laws know that you’re not a workhorse. If they only want someone who can do their chores and are not interested in a real relationship with you, then spend less time with them. You don’t have to be abused and taken advantage of to be a good daughter-in-law,” Nzimande adds.

NOT MY THING, THANK YOU