‘She stepped in when my family fell apart’
Debbie Starr, 59, a professional veil painter, lives in Lincolnshire with her husband Dave, 47, and son Nathan, 23.
As I watch my beautiful daughter Alethea, 26, walk down the aisle, I reach for my mum Elizabeth’s hand and give it a squeeze. Without her, things might have turned out very differently.
Mum, now 85, gave me and my brother Nigel, now 56, a wonderful childhood. Despite working as a practice manager for a busy GP surgery in Crich, Derbyshire, she made so much time for us. She taught me to sew as a child, made me clothes, whipped up fabulous cakes for our birthdays, and was on hand with support whenever I needed it.
But when my family fell apart, she became my rock: a firm, unwavering presence in my life and my children’s lives. I married my first husband in 1991. Sadly, he struggled with alcohol problems and, despite a stint in rehab, was unable to kick the habit. Eventually, our relationship foundered; after 19 years, I knew I had to make a fresh start.
In 2006, I found myself newly single, raising my 12-year-old daughter Alethea and nine-year-old son Nathan alone, while working as a nurse. Money was tight, childcare was unaffordable, and I was at an emotional low point. ‘I’m not sure what to do!,’ I told mum on the phone. ‘Leave it to me,’ she said.
For the next few years, mum would catch two buses each weekday morning to come to my home and look after the kids. She’d clean and cook and iron, and even helped me financially. She encouraged me to retrain as a bookkeeper when I confessed I found nursing physically draining.
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