Uh Oh, Fomo

Do You Have the Uncontrollable Need to Attend That Party Even Though You Can’t Stand the Host? Can’t Commit to the Gorgeous Guy You’ve Been Dating Because There May Be Someone Even Better Around the Corner? Are You Mad With Jealousy Over a Friend’s Holiday Facebook Snaps? Are You Just Not Happy Until You Buy That New Dress/phone/bag/pair of Shoes? You Could Have a Bad Case of Fomo (Fear of Missing Out). Fortunately, You’re Not Alone.

- David Goding

From simple beginnings, monstrous things grow. While it’s both a common and natural need to feel included and wanted in social circles, and to possess a variety of useful and beautiful items, our modern way of life has twisted this need into a striving for the unreachable. It’s called choice and comparisons – and we’re drowning in them.

“It’s a constant pressure to appear to have it all that inevitably leads to FOMO,” says speaker and life coach Katherine Mackenzie- Smith. “Through social media, we all see the carefully curated feeds – the highlight reel of other people’s lives – and instinctively compare them with our own messy, behind-the-scenes version. It’s an extension of the celebrity culture, except people who appear to have it all on social media are just normal people – which makes it so much harder.

“It’s not about the truth, it’s about a construction of reality that we think we’re seeing that leads to FOMO. We’ve been trained to see what we don’t have. And social media just puts it in front of our faces every minute of the day.”

FOMO is by no means a new phenomenon, but its effects have never been so widely and intensely felt as they are in this modern era.

“Since caveperson times we have compared ourselves to others,” says holistic life coach Toni-Maree Hannan. “It meant you could find a stronger mate, have healthier children and be a part of a stronger community. This meant you lived safely amongst others, adapting to survive and thrive together. Unfortunately, we haven’t evolved enough as a species to be able to walk away from behaviours and habits that are no longer needed.”