FEDS MONKEYING WITH RETIRED LAB CHIMPS

Ignore law requiring shipment to sanctuary

ANIMAL lovers and politicians are up in arms that the National Institutes of Health is refusing to keep its paws off 28 lab chimps that are no longer being used for research — even though the law requires them to resettle the senior simians at a sprawling Louisiana sanctuary!

It has been over two decades since the Alamogordo Primate Facility in New Mexico stopped experimenting on their hapless hairy prisoners, and a 2000 federal law — the CHIMP Act, for Chimpanzee Health Improvement Maintenance Protection — says they must ship the retired rascals to Chimp Haven, a 200-acre protected wilderness for the big guys.