The greatest invention in romance since condoms, dating apps are pure efficiency: thousands of women, no long profiles to read, no grammar mistakes to harrumph over, nothing but the essentials: picture, age, first name, and a fortune cookie. If you're interested only in hook-ups, there's a mathematical strategy for maximising hits: Swipe right for everyone. This works when you think about dating the way a shark thinks about eating. But if you're looking for love - or simply good company - you're in for "Hot or Not?" the video game. And, like any gamer, you need a winning strategy.
WHEN YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A SITE TO GET SEXY ON
YOU THINK: All single women are on Tinder and variety is my ally.
SHE THINKS: Tinder is a Greyhound bus full of slobbering old men.
TRY THIS: Stop carpet bombing; investigate surgical strikes. Women give high marks to Bumble, the "lady first" app, for safety features that chase away twitchers, droolers, and stalkers. Or check out Bristlr, for women who like men who grow beards. Every kink has its fan base.
WHEN YOU'RE SETTING UP YOUR PROFILE
YOU THINK: I rock a six-pack in my mirror selfie, I'll post that.
SHE THINKS: This dude has no friends. Also, no job.
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THE NEED FOR SPEED
Interview with NASCAR's Parker Retzlaff
Test your T
Low testosterone can be a serious (and seriously annoying) problem. But there is help.
The no-gym beach body
Take a vacation from the weights and sculpt your best beach body ever using only your body weight
The 6 Greatest Outdoor Workouts, Period
After a dark and cold winter, the fluorescent-lit gym starts to feel as drab and stuffy as a fluorescent-lit cubicle, and the old routines of arm day and leg day and ab day just aren't cutting it. Ditch the racks and benches and venture outdoors into the sunshine. Your bleary eyes will find life's better with the wind in your hair, the sun on your back, and the world zipping past. We've ranked the top outdoor sports mountain biking, trail running, open-water swimming, obstacle course racing, road cycling, and rock climbing - based on exercise efficacy, calories burned, cost of gear, availability, and risk factor to see which one offers the most burn for your buck. So, go ahead and take your fitness to the next level while communing with nature. The outdoors awaits. Go work it.
ARCHER TELLS YOU...How To Be a Real man
STERLING ARCHER is the world's greatest secret agent as well as a devastatingly handsome jet-setter, model-banger, and daydrinking enthusiast. And now I'm a noir detective living in the 1940s. Sorry, are you confused because I switched to first person? Well, get over it, because I'm about to give you some invaluable life advice on how to get through this decade- or any decade, for that matter - like a true gentleman.
Broiling Point
The broiler is an under-appreciated workhorse that can quickly and easily bump up the flavour of your favourite dishes
Johnny Jimenez FROM FITNESS MODEL TO BUSINESS MOGUL
Johnny Jimenez (aka JohnnySwole) is not your ordinary fitness model. He has taken his passion for fitness and turned it into a lucrative empire. With a blend of dedication, entrepreneurship, and a keen sense of opportunity, Johnny has established himself as a prominent figure in the fitness industry.
30 ways to get stronger
To celebrate MF's 30th year, we present our 30 top tips for turning yourself into a lean, mean, brawny, beach-ready machine
Extremely loud and incredibly close
As a neighbour, you want to build relationships based on mutual respect - but that's sometimes easier said than done. Here's what to do should drama come knocking.
Win every fight you're in
Defuse the most dreadful situations with tips from these hostage experts
