DIVIDED COLOURS OF UNITED INDIA

SCIENTISTS AND PHILOSOPHERS OF THE WORLD ARE STILL HOW THE WONDERING NUMEROUS CULTURES, COMMUNITIES, LANGUAGES AND CONTRADICTIONS OF INDIA CAN MERGE INTO ONE GIANT CONTRADICTION THAT IS OUR NATION

- ANJULY MATHAI

There are certain things about Kerala that no non-Malayali will be able to appreciate in its full scope: The irony of an autorickshaw driver 20 years older than you calling you 'chechi', or elder sister, because we don't have an analogue for the word 'miss' in English. Or the derision with which we view outsiders who eat our traditional delicacies like 'appam' or 'kappa' with cutlery. Or the relish with which we check out the obituary section of the newspaper first thing in the morning. The only thing we find more entertaining than an obituary is a matrimonial-for non-drinking, non-feminist, 'homely' virgins. If you ask a 24-year-old Malayali boy if he wants to get married, he will reply: "Oh no, no hurry. I don't mind waiting a month." Then there is the universal acceptance of certain Malayalam expletives, the most common being: "Nee poda patti." The English translation ("Scoot, you dog") deprives the phrase of its linguistic genius, the way it is offensive and non-offensive at the same time.

Perhaps the most knowledgeable proponents of a language are those who are most proficient in its expletives. If you can swear well in a language, it is a clear sign that you know the language well. Bengalis who know the meaning of the phrase "Marbo ekhane, porbi shoshane" will attest to this fact. It is the paraphrase of a line spoken by Mithun Chakraborty in MLA (2006) and roughly translates to: "I'll hit you here and you'll land in the cremation ground". Once again, the translation is a pale replica of the original. "What of those words you may hear as you pass a squabble on the bypass to Kolkata's new airport?" asks Sudeep Chakravarti in The Bengalis: A Portrait of a Community. "Or as you walk along the lake Rabindra Sarobar, among the few remaining natural saving graces of the city? Or along much of Bengal's decrepit towns, these other places where our destitute, displaced, young, unemployed and restless live?"