Five benefits of GIVING CHILDREN CHOICES

Child development and parenting experts are increasingly becoming aware that providing children choices from young age enables them to develop independence, decision-making skills, and confidence

- ARUNA RAGHURAM

Adults cherish their freedom. And, a large comdecisions. Why wouldn't children want the same? Child development and parenting experts are increasingly becoming aware that providing children choices from young age enables them to develop independence, decision-making skills, and confidence. It also avoids tantrums and gives them a sense of power and control over their lives.

Dr. Laura Markham, a US-based clinical psychologist, parenting expert and founder of Aha! Parenting website, says the best way to manage uncooperative children is to give them choices. "Giving choices may be the single most useful tool parents have for managing young children. It really is almost a magic wand, at least until children are about five. And even into the teen years, choices help children learn to manage themselves," she writes.

For instance, if you give your child this choice: “Do you want to go to bed now or in five minutes?”, it may avert a bedtime tantrum.

Why does giving choices work? Because it’s a win-win solution. “You, as a parent, are offering only choices that are okay with you. Your child gets to pick one that’s okay with her. You sidestep the power struggle. The child is in charge, within your parameters. No one likes to be forced to do something. Here, because she chooses, she cooperates,” explains Dr. Markham.