My lungs burned. I physically couldn't consume enough air. My heartbeat pounded in my ears.
I had been pedalling for 15 minutes.
Fifteen minutes of pedalling a bike for the first time in way more than that many months. On a trainer, no less.
"This shouldn't be so hard!" I said again.
It was a challenge not to give up in that moment. It would have been so much easier to give up in that moment. That moment sucked.
In that moment, I realised just how much of my fitness had leaked away, over a year that had somehow stretched into almost two of a maddening, one-stepforward, one-step-back dance of healing a back injury - the choreography made so much more aggravating mentally and emotionally because of how non-linear recovery is.
I had spent years acquiring strength and endurance, with the attention and care that rational, responsible adults give to their retirement portfolios, and now it felt like all those gains had completely evaporated.
Just... gone.
I've always been a beyond-average cyclist. And after more than a couple of decades of lifting and 10-plus years as a personal trainer, I'm pretty good at anything that involves picking up heavy things and putting them down. I've always been strong for my size, and able to put on muscle more easily than most.
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GEAR FOR THE AGES
Some bicycle components, tools and accessories - by design, luck or a bit of both - become icons of performance, reliability and permanence in cycling.
A RACE LIKE NO OTHER
IN KENYA'S MAASAI MARA, KNOWN MORE FOR SAFARIS THAN CYCLING, THE MIGRATION GRAVEL RACE CHALLENGES RIDERS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD THE WORLD WHILE FORGING A FUTURE FOR BIKE RACING IN AFRICA.
WAR ON WHEELS
IF YOU GO FOR A RIDE IN CAPE TOWN AT THE WRONG TIME, YOU COULD FIND YOURSELF IN THE MIDDLE OF A CYCLING GANG WAR, WHERE THE WEAPONS OF CHOICE ARE STRAVA RECORDS AND SALTY COMMENTS ON INSTAGRAM. THIS IS THE TALE OF THREE RIVAL ROADIE CREWS AND A REMINDER THAT CYCLING IS A SPORT BEST TAKEN WITH A SENSE OF HUMOUR.
GET TOUR DE FRANCE FAST IN FOUR WEEKS
HAVE YOU GOT TOUR FEVER? If you have a good fitness base, let the pros inspire you to take your riding to the next level.
THE SECRET TO MAKING A COMEBACK? JUST START
\"THIS IS WHAT DECONDITIONING LOOKS LIKE,\" I said out loud to no one, as I looked at the heart-rate reading on my phone and gasped for breath. \"This shouldn't be so hard.\"
DEAR MARK CAVENDISH
WHEN I FIRST STARTED FOLLOWING professional road cycling around 2014, you were at the top of your game.
HOW TO CALCULATE YOUR POWER-TOWEIGHT RATIO
POWER-TO-WEIGHT RATIO IS one of the most telling metrics in cycling - and thanks to indoor trainers, many more cyclists are now familiar with it. Right now it's never been easier to calculate your power-to-weight ratio and use it to improve your performance.
EASY RIDER
A FEW YEARS AGO, my wife and I along with her parents, brother and his wife-cycled down the Danube River in Europe.
LEADING THE WAY - RYAN GIBBONS, 29, SA PRO RIDER, MULTIPLE SA & AFRICAN ROAD CHAMP
AFTER JOINING LIDLTREK from UAE Team Emirates, South African national champ Ryan Gibbons aims to be the best lead-out man he can be - while also helping his new team in their quest to climb the World Tour rankings.
6 WAYS TO BEAT THE HEAT THIS SUMMER
TOP TIPS TO KEEP YOU COOLER AND RIDING STRONGER... NO MATTER WHAT THE TEMPERATURE.