Life-changing MOMENTS

Two women share their experiences of giving back to their children - and the community

- GILLIAN HARVEY

'It feels like we're part of a supportive family'

Tima Doole, 46, is a support assistant. She lives in Dorset with her sons Conna, 20, and Zack, 14.

'Katherine, if you don't help me, this boy is going to end up going off the rails,' I said to the petty officer. It was 2014 and I'd gone to the Sea Cadets, hoping to find a place where my eldest son, Conna, could gain discipline and self-belief.

I was also desperate for a little personal respite.

At the time, Conna's behaviour was challenging - he had been diagnosed with an attachment disorder and PTSD after a childhood trauma - and as a single mum I was finding parenting him almost impossible.

Conna had an interest in the military - my father, Walter, was a marine, and he'd shared so much knowledge with his grandson before he passed away from cancer in 2013. Sea Cadets was local and the only military organisation that took children aged 10.

When I visited, I felt as if they were my last hope. Conna was signed up and it changed both our lives. At first, when one of the twice-weekly meetings was taking place, I'd wait with his younger brother

Zack, now 14, rather than drive back and forth. I began to offer to do odd jobs, and became more and more involved.

Eventually, Zack joined Cadets and I became a junior leader - a role I cherish to this day.

What Sea Cadets offered us went beyond skills and discipline. We became part of a supportive family - where older cadets help the younger ones and everyone works together. Conna thrived - the discipline and purpose helped him turn his life around. He still struggled at school but was a different person at Cadets.