8 Rules For Being A Total Cougar

Do you prefer your meat on the – shall we say – tender side? You’ve come to the right place then, you old smoothie.

- Faye M Smith

1 No school uniform

Come on, now – this isn’t just a rule, it’s the law! There’s young, then there’s illegal. Don’t cross the line. Enough said. But how low can you go? ‘If you’re both in the same psychological proximity, then age shouldn’t dictate happiness,’ says dating and relationship expert Clarissa Bloom of beauty company Procoal. ‘Age is only a number, and who enjoys maths anyway?’ Not us.

2 Don’t waste time

If you both only want some bow-chicka-wow-wow, then great. But if your baby clock is ticking louder than Big Ben, forget it. ‘If you’d like a child soon and they’re still a decade away, this will cause an inevitable conundrum,’ says Clarissa. ‘Sit down and talk it through.’ Yeah, with clothes on.

3 Do feel smug