A PLAGUE ON ALL YOUR HOUSES!

Accident sends Sheffield back to the dark ages

SHEFFIELD City Council was yesterday struggling to contain an outbreak of a medieval disease after workmen unwittingly unearthed a 12th century apothecary.

A long-reach excavator working on the A6178 relief road at Brinsworth broke open the site, discharging a cloud of gas into the atmosphere. Shortly afterwards, local residents complained of dizzyness, watering eyes and an imbalance of the humours.

Shefffield's Chief Medical Officer Dr Ken Sowerbury, who spent the day at the scene, explained the need for a careful and measured response to a range of symptoms not seen since the reign of Henry II. “I've selected a team of physicians, wise women and priests,” he told the Carbrook and Tinsley Speculum.