Keep The Passion Alive

There are a multitude of passion killers that can strike a long-term relationship. Here’s how to bring the romance – and the spark – back

- Rachel Smith

Keeping the passion alive in a relationship is often a delicate balancing act, and it’s normal for long-term couples to go through times when the spark seems to have diminished (or even died altogether). it can be a slow process fuelled by issues like underlying anger and resentment, stresses at work or on the home front, or even one or both partners not putting the effort in to help make each other feel special. ‘Avoidance – that’s when you avoid talking about your problems, be it anything from fixing the sink to the lack of intimacy between you – can result in you avoiding the vulnerable or heightened states in a relationship, and that can diminish passion,’ explains relationship expert Samantha Krajina. ‘Another big passion idler is if one half of a couple doesn’t know what brings them fulfilment and goes on a search to find out.’

Similarly, if one partner doesn’t allow the other to follow what fulfils them, the passion within the relationship can quickly fizzle. Another passion killer comes from, strangely enough, spending too much time together. Researchers at Columbia University tracked hundreds of couples over several years and found that being too close could, in fact, be just as damaging to a relationship as not being close enough.