Singled Out
Marie Claire - UK|April 2018

Childhood bullying can have a profound effect on our adult lives, making us more likely to fall prey to bullies in our workplace and friendship groups. Charlotte Philby investigates the true psychological cost

Charlotte Philby
Singled Out
‘Even now when I look back to my days at a private girls’ school in the Home Counties, I wonder if it was all my fault for being an outsider because I found it so hard to fit into any group,’ says Sarah, now 36. ‘At break times, I’d spend the whole hour wandering around, never being allowed to join in anyone’s game. I often felt totally overwhelmed by sadness.’ Now, married with two young children, Sarah has a successful legal career and appears confident and secure. But behind the impeccably calm persona, the impact of childhood bullying has hounded her into adult life, in the form of depression and, ultimately, alcoholism.

‘Beyond the teasing and name-calling was a more insidious feeling of exclusion and loneliness,’ she says. ‘As I became a teenager, I discovered booze and boys. It was a platform upon which I could finally relate to and compete with other girls. So I drank to get drunk, to oblivion and blackout. It was the only time my insecurities disappeared. It took me another 20 years to admit during an AA meeting that I had a problem and drank to block out my feelings of low self-worth.’ Sarah says she still has a huge amount of shame over her school days. ‘I don’t trust women easily or believe I have any “real” friends. I spent years trying to fix relationships with some girls because I really wanted them to like me – it’s a trait I still watch out for in myself now – the constant craving for validation from others.’

THE FACTS

Denne historien er fra April 2018-utgaven av Marie Claire - UK.

Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.

Denne historien er fra April 2018-utgaven av Marie Claire - UK.

Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.

FLERE HISTORIER FRA MARIE CLAIRE - UKSe alt
Uma Thurman
Marie Claire - UK

Uma Thurman

‘I Managed To Stay In The Business That I Love All My Life, And I Know That’s Not A Given. I Can’t Not Feel Lucky About It, No Matter What The Downsides Can Be’.

time-read
8 mins  |
November 2019
Pollution Proof Your Life
Marie Claire - UK

Pollution Proof Your Life

From your daily commute to your wood-burning stove, you’re unwittingly inhaling a variety of toxic substances. But you can take action to reduce their impact, reveals Claire Thorp.

time-read
5 mins  |
November 2019
We Love Lucy
Marie Claire - UK

We Love Lucy

From a star-making turn in Bohemian Rhapsody to a leading role in sassy new Netflix show The Politician, Lucy Boynton is ready for her close-up. Here, she tells Jane Mulkerrins about her life-changing year.

time-read
7 mins  |
November 2019
Human Touch
Marie Claire - UK

Human Touch

Connecting with others can have a confidence-boosting effect, support skin health and help you live longer. Here’s why the wonders of physical contact really matter...

time-read
3 mins  |
November 2019
Facing The Floods
Marie Claire - UK

Facing The Floods

Photographer Gideon Mendel has spent 12 years capturing the extreme rise in flooding across the globe. Here, he tells Marie Claire about the devastating human impact.

time-read
5 mins  |
November 2019
'Learn How To Please Yourself First' –and Other Sex Tips From Our Mums
Marie Claire - UK

'Learn How To Please Yourself First' –and Other Sex Tips From Our Mums

Three mothers and daughters explain how talking openly to each other about sex, identity and pleasure has strengthened their relationship and enriched their love lives

time-read
9 mins  |
September 2019
10 Mindful Ways To Approach Health And Well-Being
Marie Claire - UK

10 Mindful Ways To Approach Health And Well-Being

From cortisol-free fitness to stress-busting diets and calm skin, Fiona Embleton reveals ten mindful ways to approach health and well-being

time-read
6 mins  |
May 2019
Sex Crimes on Campus
Marie Claire - UK

Sex Crimes on Campus

This month, thousands of female students will head for university, but many will become the victims of sexual assault and harassment.Polly Dunbar investigates the alarming rise of college rape culture.

time-read
7 mins  |
November 2016
Fight The Fear
Marie Claire - UK

Fight The Fear

Approximately ten million people in the UK suffer with a debilitating phobia. When Charlotte Haigh’s fear of flying threatened to damage her mental health, she took action…

time-read
6 mins  |
December 2017
Celine Dion
Marie Claire - UK

Celine Dion

‘Growing Up, I Used to Feel Awkward and Insecure. I Remember Not Feeling or Looking My Best’

time-read
8 mins  |
December 2017