A cohort of women, a micro-generation in the making, are choosing not to have children. This isn’t a mandate or a manifesto—women are simply beginning to assert their agency and their right to choose. With social stigma still strong, if being child-free is a gradually rising “trend” in urban India, what are the factors responsible, asks Janice Pariat
I was 16 when I declared to my parents, one morning at breakfast, to not expect any grandchildren from me. The announcement was met with a mixture of amusement, good old-fashioned Christian embarrassment, and dismissal. “You’ll change your mind,” I was told as more scrambled eggs were ladled onto my plate, and the subject hastily changed. More than a decade later, in 2008, when I moved out of Delhi and back to my hometown Shillong, taking my pet cat with me, it became a running joke in the family that at least I’d given them a “grandkitty”. Now, in my mid-thirties, the jesting has stopped. Though of late I do find myself thinking a lot about children—of having them or not—perhaps because the question, now more than ever, is often asked: Don’t you want kids?
Implied here, especially since I’m a woman, is the normalcy of wanting them. How does one respond? I honestly don’t know. I’ve tried, mostly in jest, “But I have a cat” or “Look, I write books” but the truth is the question forces me to question my decision and think about it far more than I might actually wish to. As author Jeanne Safer describes in her essay ‘Beyond Beyond Motherhood’ in Selfish, Shallow And Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers On The Decision Not To Have Kids (Picador), I have “wanted to want to have a baby.” I’m aware that in my friend’s circle I’m not the only one. There is a group of us choosing not to have kids, and it’s got me wondering why. If being child-free is a “trend”, what are the factors enabling it to become one now? I recognise also that we are a certain type of women—urban, educated—and I’m wondering how this un-pronatalist decision might be connected to privilege and class.
TO HAVE KIDS OR NOT TO?
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Denne historien er fra July 2018-utgaven av VOGUE India.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
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Breathe In, Breathe Out
A powerful tool to help you master your nervous system or another biohacking buzzword? SIMONE DHONDY explores the inhalations and exhalations of breathwork
Red Pill, Blue Pill
India's nutraceutical industry is booming thanks to advanced technology, distrust of the medical system and rising vanity. With multivitamins becoming purer and more effective, NIDHI GUPTA finds out if supplements have become the new serum
Sign of the times
No longer do you need to have an answer to, \"What is the significance of this?\" when people point to your new tattoo. ARMAN KHAN discovers that everything is on the table when you get inked temporarily
Return to form
Watching the world's most elite athletes deliver the best performances of their careers rekindled SONAKSHI SHARMA's own love for sports
Dimple, All Day
YOU MAY HAVE WATCHED HER ON THE BIG SCREEN FOR OVER FIVE DECADES, BUT DON'T MAKE THE MISTAKE OF ASSUMING THAT YOU KNOW DIMPLE KAPADIA.
MUSIC, TAKE CONTROL
As someone who had always sought safety in numbers, ALIZA FATMA often wondered what her own company would feel like. The answer arrived unexpectedly when she attended her first-ever music festival, one of the largest in the world, all alone
Let it grow
When we think of hardworking farmers toiling in India's scorching heat, we often think of men, the sweat on their brow, the sinews in their arms. JYOTI KUMARI speaks to four women who are championing the invisible female labour that keeps these fields running
YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE
When armless archer Sheetal Devi set her sights on the Paralympic Games this year, she knew she had a tough journey ahead of her. Luckily, her mother was with her every step of the way.
Beauty and the feast
The appeal of Indian weddings has always been in a sprawling spread. For additional bragging rights, Aditi Dugar recommends going beyond designer tablecloths and monogrammed napkins.
Sweet serendipity
From a scavenger hunt-inspired proposal to a Moroccan-themed baraat, Malvika Raj and Armaan Rai's love story prioritised playfulness throughout their blended celebrations.
