Yes, I’ll Come An Hour Earlier. Yes, I’ll Buy The Gifts. Yes, I’ll Loan You The Cash. Yes, I’ll Shop With You After Work. Blanche Radom Seeks Help For Her ‘yes’ Habit – And Explains How You Can Learn To Say ‘no’ Too.
I could fill an entire book with the stress and anxiety this three letter word has caused me. And the worst part? Constantly saying yes makes me unhappy in the long run. So I can’t go on like this. I’m hoping the solution lies in having a consultation with a psychotherapist, so I visit Dr Benjamin Siemann. Perhaps he can explain to me why I just can’t seem to say‘no’, even though I know it would be better for me. Our session begins like this:
What brings you here?
I’m here because I say yes in a lot of situations, even though I know it would be better for me to sometimes say no. In many cases, I get angry afterwards when I end up postponing a catch-up with someone because I never wanted to go in the first place or if I find myself struggling with shopping bags after work when someone else could have done it. I’d like to change this. Particularly because I’ve noticed many people don’t have this problem.
In my experience, we do things in a certain way because it works for us. So I’m wondering what your reasons for saying yes could be.
I instantly feel guilty. When I think about saying no, I immediately think I may be making life more difficult for someone else. I only think of myself afterwards. But I do sometimes also wonder whether my friends or family really would be miffed at me for not being able to make it to a meet-up or do them a favour.
But you don’t actually know what would happen if you said no. After all, you never do it.
(I nod.)
So what exactly are you aiming for? It initially sounds like being cooperative is an important value for you. Because being able to help others surely also has a positive effect on you yourself. What happens in that moment when you say yes?
Denne historien er fra May 2018-utgaven av Good Health Choices.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
Allerede abonnent ? Logg på
Denne historien er fra May 2018-utgaven av Good Health Choices.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
Allerede abonnent? Logg på
Strong On The Inside
OSTEOPOROSIS AFFECTS HALF OF KIWI WOMEN OVER 60. AFTER THE AGE OF 35, BONE LOSS INCREASES AS A NATURAL PART OF THE AGEING PROCESS, BUT DID YOU KNOW IT’S POSSIBLE TO BOOST YOUR BONE STRENGTH? DEBBIE DUNCAN EXPLAINS HOW...
The Joy Of Un-Dieting
NUTRITIONIST JESSICA SEPEL WANTS US TO SPEAK TO OURSELVES WITH MORE KINDNESS AND CHANGE OUR MIND-SET ABOUT HEALTHY EATING
Shifting Focus
DO YOU DREAD THOSE LAST FEW WEEKS AT WORK PRIOR TO THE SUMMER BREAK BECAUSE TIME SEEMS TO BE DRAGGING? WHAT YOU MIGHT BE IN NEED OF IS A VOORPRET MIND-SET
Only The Lonely
FOR SOME OF US CHRISTMAS ISN’T ALWAYS JOLLY AND, IF YOU’RE FEELING ISOLATED, YOU’RE NOT ON YOUR OWN. SARAH MARINOS LOOKS AT THE IMPACT OF A GROWING HEALTH EPIDEMIC AND HOW BEST TO COMBAT IT
Out Of Office... (Sort Of)
DO YOU STRUGGLE TO DISCONNECT FROM WORK WHILE ON HOLIDAY? LEARN HOW TO LET GO OF ‘VACATION SABOTAGE’ AND GET THE MOST FROM YOUR TIME OFF
Fountain Of Youth
IT TURNS OUT THE SECRET TO BEING YOUNGER, IS TO BELIEVE YOU ARE! WE LOOK AT HOW YOUR MIND-SET AND OUTLOOK ON LIFE ARE TWO OF THE MAIN DETERMINING FACTORS WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR HEALTH AND HAPPINESS IN YOUR LATER YEARS
Finding Strength
JENNY-MAY CLARKSON OPENS UP TO ERIN FISHER ABOUT HEALING AFTER LOSS, BODY CONFIDENCE, AND HOW HER CONNECTION TO THE COMMUNITY AND MĀORI CULTURE SHAPES EVERYTHING SHE DOES
Can You Think Yourself Slim?
‘A new mind-based technique is achieving radical results when it comes to quashing craving
TAKE A BREATH
CONTROLLING ASTHMA CAN BE CHALLENGING, BUT EMERGING RESEARCH COULD BE A GAME-CHANGER FOR THOSE LIVING WITH THIS CHRONIC DISEASE, SAYS TRUDIE MCCONNOCHIE
KEEPING ON TRACK
RADIO PERSONALITY JAY-JAY FEENEY OPENS UP TO ERIN FISHER ABOUT HER SOLO TRAVEL ADVENTURES, BODY IMAGE AND MENTAL HEALTH STRUGGLES, AND LEARNING TO BE COMFORTABLE WITH HER OWN COMPANY