Am I worthy enough?

Pursuing goals endlessly does not define your self-worth. Knowing and abiding in your natural state of being does, says Ajay Kalra

- Ajay Kalra

Most of us have grown up on a diet of achievement, ambition, and success. We were rewarded for coming first. Recognised for getting the highest marks. Celebrated for outdoing others. The conditioning that our worth is based on the trophy in our hands and what others think of us has been ingrained in us since childhood.

As a child, I don’t remember anyone asking me “How was your day?” “What do you like to do?” “How do you wish to spend your time?”

Being a part of the system—family, school, community, corporation—we are mostly told what we must do. We are made to believe that if we do what we are told, we will be successful. And it is assumed that once we are successful, we will be happy. We tend to follow this dictum without questioning its validity. Because no one wants to be a loser. So we try hard to fit into the system. We sing a song that is not our own. And in doing so, we lose touch with our natural rhythm.

The purpose of life becomes the pursuit of success—defined by numbers, salary, clients, followers, turnover, profit, participants, subscribers, votes, views, and ‘likes.’ Our mind keeps racing to achieve one goal after the other, pushing ourself to outdo our expectations. But the race never ends. It keeps going on, fuelled by our anxiety about being left behind. If we are successful, we feel admired, loved, and wanted. We feel powerful. Success becomes a drug; it gives us a temporary high. Once the effect is over, we want the next hit.