'I Was Terrified Of Intimacy' Simon Amstell

Actor and comedian Simon Amstell opens up to Eva Mackevic about his troubled past, what drives his comedy, and his new film, Benjamin

He’s best known for his controversial stint as the host of Never Mind the Buzzcocks between 2006–2008, as well as for his introspective, hilariously neurotic stand-up shows and his work on such projects as the comedy series, Grandma’s House and the bonkers veganism mockumentary, Carnage. Now 39, Simon Amstell returns with his second feature film, Benjamin, a journey deep into his formerly troubled, 20-something psyche.

I wasn’t sure which Simon to expect when I met him at a busy Soho café on a crisp winter morning: the mocking Buzzcocks host or the fragile ego-ed comedian who once professed that instead of easing it, his cat had become a mascot for his loneliness.

I found him sitting in a secluded corner of the room, his lanky frame hunched over the tiny table. Oddly, he seemed restless and giggly, as if he was nervous to talk to me. “Look! I’m wearing long johns!” he exclaimed, frantically pulling up his socks, when I mentioned the weather. We were off to a strange start.

Simon’s new film, Benjamin, tells the story of a rising young filmmaker (played exquisitely by Northern Irish actor, Colin Morgan), who’s struggling with self-doubt and severe social anxiety brought on by the impending release of his second film, and a burgeoning romance with the dreamy French musician, Noah.

“I looked at the relationships and friendships I’d been in, and slowly found that it was a film about someone who’s terrified of intimacy, but eventually lets himself be vulnerable enough to love and be loved,” he tells me in that characteristically high-pitched tone, avoiding direct eye-contact.