Romantic regrets are the most common kind of remorse. And, sure, yours may not be as bad as falling for a guy with scissors for hands (oh, Edward!). But we bet it taught you a ton about what not to do the next time. We’ve collected the four top relationship doozies, plus all the intel you need to avoid the same fate.
MISTAKE #1: DATING BOYS, NOT MEN
Despite having a graduate degree and a thriving career, Sarah, 36, spent much of her twenties and early thirties “dating underachievers who didn’t have their act together,” she admits. Her “sweet, pot-smoking man-children” included a debt-ridden aspiring writer, a fantasy-sports addict and a compulsive shopper. Sarah left each relationship within a year. Why the attraction? “They were all really kind guys,” she says. “And they offered an unconditional love that, as a perfectionist, I had a hard time giving to myself. It also took the focus off me and put it on someone who needed to be ‘fixed’ more than I did.”
Why It Happens: Being the high-functioning person in a relationship gives you power and control. And that’s kismet for perfectionists, who tend to judge themselves harshly. “If your own sense of worth is already low, being with someone more successful than you can feel threatening,” says couples therapist Dr Jane Greer, author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness from Ruining Your Relationship. Choosing someone who is less ambitious, on the other hand, can not only boost your ego, but make you feel stronger and more secure in comparison.
Denne historien er fra May 2017-utgaven av Women's Health South Africa.
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Denne historien er fra May 2017-utgaven av Women's Health South Africa.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
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