Different Strokes

Do you and your partner have mismatched sex drives? Here’s how to meet each other halfway.

- Hoe I Yune

Some people are up for sex all the time, while others can keep their libido on the back-burner for months. Whatever the case, physical intimacy is key to a healthy relationship. Ignore your partner’s desire and your marriage may suffer. But how do you tackle such a touchy topic?

Inspired to normalise talk about sex, Erin Chen, chief maven and founder of Lila Sutra, left her management consultant job to run sexual wellness workshops for women and curate quality products for them in the bedroom. Here, she suggests how couples with differing sex drives can bring balance to the bedroom, without trampling on anyone’s ego.

Tip 1 PENCIL IT INTO YOUR CALENDAR

Don’t leave sex to chance. Schedule it in. You won’t be sacrificing spontaneity either. Think of it as making a dinner reservation, but not deciding beforehand what you would order. “Similar to food, pleasure is something you can create,” says Erin. “All you are doing is making time to be present with your partner and prioritising the sexual part of your relationship. What happens during that block of time can be every bit as fun as you want it to be – you can take turns surprising each other or try new positions in new places!”

Tip 2 PLAY 40 BEADS