Public Proposals – Yay Or Nay?

Forty-four out of 50 women we asked* say they don’t want a public proposal – it seems attention-seeking, or like a sneaky way for men to pressure girlfriends to say “yes”. Yet, these grand romantic gestures exist. Why?

- Hoe I Yune

American producer and director Glen Weiss stole the Emmys show last September when he proposed to girlfriend Jan Svendsen during his award acceptance speech. Influencer Chiara Ferragni – aka The Blonde Salad – and Italian singer Fedez were engaged after he serenaded her on stage at his concert.

Public displays of affection are the stuff of romantic fiction, but are they a tad over the top?

Maybe not to Singapore men, who are hiring marriage proposal companies such as Help You Marry (Singapore’s first professional marriage proposal planner) to make the big ask extra special. The company charges a starting fee of $3,400, inclusive of photography, videography, decor and reservations, and recently, they had an Indonesian client who composed a song and played it on a grand piano in the middle of winter along tree-lined paths on Nami Island in Korea. Yes, you’ve guessed it, it was a setting for the drama Winter Sonata.

On average, Help You Marry plans 30 to 40 proposals a year, 30 per cent of which are done in public, a sign that the once-intimate affair has morphed into an elaborate event. Millennials comfortable with sharing and being in the spotlight are the new norm, thanks to social media and reality TV, but proposals are still widely regarded as lowkey and private occasions. So why turn it into a spectacle?

“The love of the spotlight, and romanticism, are likely relevant in some cases. With all the proposing and love confessions that unfold on reality TV shows, it’s no wonder that more people are doing this,” says Singapore Management University associate professor of psychology Norman Li.