My Deadly Dance with the Dragon

Nadia* reveals how drugs ruled her life in her teens and 20s – and the steps she’s taking to rebuild it now at 32.

- Davelle Lee

“I was a rebellious child. Growing up, I always wanted to break the strict rules my parents set for the household. I wanted freedom. That’s why I started partying and staying out late in clubs with my friends. It made my father furious.

“It was so unfair. My brother, many years my senior, had been on drugs for as long as I can remember, and my parents let him get away with it. So I  defiantly partied on and partied hard. I wasn’t interested in school and eventually dropped out.

“In 2000, I turned 16. And that’s when I discovered ecstasy. Everyone I partied with had tried it. I wanted to feel included. I wanted to be able to say, ‘Yes, I’ve tried ice, too. I know what it’s all about.’

“I started to use ice frequently. Back then, I was a telemarketer earning $10 an hour – enough to get by and pay for the drugs. Pretty soon, I was getting high at work but I was discreet and no one ever realised it.

“My parents knew though. Ecstasy has a smell that is different from cigarette smoke, and they could smell it in the bathroom where I sometimes lit up. They would go through my bedroom, and search my wardrobe and bags, but they never found anything. I always kept my drugs on me, tucked into the pockets of my jeans or jacket.”

DOWN THE DARK PATH

“I eventually got caught in 2003, when I was 19. I was charged for consumption of ice and sentenced to 12 months in prison. When I was released in 2004, the Singapore Prison Service put a black ankle tag on me so it could keep track of my whereabouts for the next six months. The moment that tag came off, I went back on drugs.

“A year after, I was at a party and ready to get a hit, but I couldn’t get my hands on any ice. Instead, there was heroin. And so began my destructive spiral of addiction when I was 21.