For someone who’s queer and kinky, I have almost no fantasies. Strange, na? And even stranger, perhaps, is that the one fantasy I do have is of walking down the aisle in a church, wearing a long,flowing, white wedding dress. In stark contrast to the reality, as most fantasies are I guess, of my being someone who has resisted and opposed marriage for most of my adult years. I’m 55 now, and it’s as good a time as any to look back at my life through the lens of marriage.
I’d like to start with when I was in college and lucky enough to have found feminism. Not that my feminist friends were all against marriage, but I certainly was. I gave up no opportunity to declare to coupled friends, at any real or imagined moment of feeling neglected, that friends were as important as lovers and spouses had made sure we forgot this. The image I had — and still do of marriage — is one of a monstrous tree which does not allow anything else to grow below it.
The family pressure started at age 21 after my mother went to a jyotishi. Despite being an inauspicious manglik (or was it double manglik, I don’t dare ask my mother lest it revives her own fantasy about my getting married, which managed to fade only fairly recently), the astrologer assured her that I would soon marry an engineer. To this day, I have never had even a lover who was an engineer, so that’s that.
Denne historien er fra October - November 2019-utgaven av Verve.
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Denne historien er fra October - November 2019-utgaven av Verve.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
Allerede abonnent? Logg på
Making Amends
This generation’s penchant for thoughtless consumption gets Madhu Jain roiled up, and she wonders if nature is getting its own back for our missteps…
Diamonds With Provenance
In keeping with the company’s commitment to environmental and social responsibility, Anisa Kamadoli Costa, chief sustainability officer at Tiffany & Co. and chairman and president at The Tiffany & Co. Foundation, enlightens Shirin Mehta on the efforts that make the jewellery giant an industry leader in transparency
SARTORIAL ECONOMICS
Sisters Tashi and Tara Mitra demonstrate to Akanksha Pandey how deviating from the mainstream can bend the way we think, live and dress
NOTES TO SELF
An anthropomorphized tiger’s perspective, a viscerally worded futuristic interpretation of loss, a critique of performative activism, a meta reflection on the earth’s crises. Told through different lenses, Janaki Lenin, Indrapramit Das, Keshava Guha and Roshan Ali’s stories — written exclusively for Verve — attempt to make sense of the fraught reality that we exist in today
The Eternal Optimist
As Generation X and xennials grapple with fully transitioning to conscious living, young millennials and Generation Z are leading the charge to reverse human-caused environmental damage. Sahar Mansoor, founder and CEO of the Bengaluru-based zero-waste social enterprise Bare Necessities, has a simple overarching philosophy: consume less and stay positive. Verve gets deeper into the mindset of the action-oriented earth advocate
Redemption SONGS
Indian music festivals have been demonstrating a refreshing sense of responsibility in terms of their ecological impact. Interacting with stakeholders who strive to make these large-scale events greener, Akhil Sood investigates the reasons behind the improved attitudes of audiences and the increase in corporate support.
earth hour
Crafted using nature’s elements, these dials draw inspiration from the many heterogeneous materials and hues around us.Verve turns its lens onto a mesmerising few
THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT
Children are holding adults accountable for both the grim future they are facing and the toll this is taking on their mental health. Madhumita Bhattacharyya initiates conversations with families of young climate activists and observes the extent to which parenting has changed in the face of catastrophe
NATURAL JUSTICE
Most of us are only just waking up to the urgency of climatic action. When the stakes are so high, what can individual action solve? Mridula Mary Paul, an environmental policy expert, is proof of the tenacity needed to effect systemic change. It’s not glamorous, and the rewards are few and far between, but that doesn’t stop her from aiming big, finds Anandita Bhalerao
Along For The Ride
Navigating Indian streets as a woman is hard enough. But what is it like while riding a bicycle? Bengaluru-based Shreya Dasgupta, a regular cyclist, speaks to five urban women about the pros and cons of this increasingly popular means of transport.
