Train Of Thought

Everything We Love Is Locked Under Glass

- David LeGault

“PRINCESS,” the commemorative Princess Diana Beanie Baby bear, first edition, royal violet with lace around her throat, a white rose over her heart, currently lists on eBay for upwards of three-hundred fifty-thousand dollars.

There are 4664 beans inside of Millennium, a Beanie Baby bear of identical size and shape to Princess, though Millennium boasts violet fur with a golden necklace, a globe embossed directly on her chest, the rays of the sun eclipsed behind it, the number 2000 printed in yellow below it all.

I know the number of beans because I’ve counted them individually, taken the three hours needed to sort them into a glass mason jar as I separated translucent spheres from cotton stuffing, making check marks for every hundred beans for fear of losing count.

I am not sure where this impulse comes from: my need to quantify, to know something’s value based on the sum of its parts.

Assuming all Beanie Baby bears are created equal, we can calculate that a Princess Diana Bear costs roughly seventy-five dollars per plastic bean.

A coworker of mine claims to have paid for his daughter’s college education entirely through the buying and selling of Beanie Babies.

The same man I’ve witnessed pull an incredibly rare thousand-dollar book out of a recycling Dumpster, a man who claims to know the age and condition of a book based entirely on touch.

A man who dedicated his life to the collection of rare and precious things.

The trick is to see the value before anyone else, to give them what they want before they come to their senses.

Punchers, a bright red lobster with a misprinted name tag, sells for $3800; a wingless version of Quackers the duck is listed for $1200.